Fairly a Fairy Tale

For the last few years, my best friend has been a girl.  Not just a girl, a specific girl with whom I have been madly in love with.  I even have gone as far as professing her to be my future wife.  Over those years, we’ve talked on the phone, over the internet, and occasionally seen each other in person.  It wasn’t ideal but when is ideal part of the equation when you’re falling in love…

For the past sixth months, I rarely went more than a few hours without talking to her.  Via text, twitter, and IM – we would keep each other up to date on the very minutia of each passing moment of time.  When night time came, we would have skype dates where we would talk about our days, share our successes, and learn from our failures.  She was absolutely perfect. She was my best friend. I knew, without a doubt in my heart, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

Of course, life wasn’t without its share of pratfalls and distance was not kind to us.  First it was Albany, NY and Boulder, CO.  Then Houston, Tx and Boulder.  Then New York City and Houston.  No matter what happened, we just seemed to not be able to get our cards in line.  So we dated other people.  We still talked as much as before – if not increasing the frequency as our conversations became integral to our daily lives.  I would tell her that it’s all part of the plan.  I would tell her that we belonged together.  She started to agree.  She started to believe.

She visited me a few weeks ago.  We spent the weekend together and, ultimately, achieved a level of intimacy that we never shared before.  I told her “I love you.”  She said those same words back to me.  We frolicked in the blissful hues of young love.  We talked of future plans – her work was bringing her to Albany again.  We would be closer than ever before.  We would be able to give this a shot when she moved here.  We talked of planning – weekend visits, summer in the city; intoxicating each other in all things beautiful about love and sex and everything in between.

Sometime between our last phone call and the break up call, things changed.  She told me she was no longer planning on moving to Albany.  She told me she no longer shared the same vision.  She told me she met someone else.

Now, I don’t want to wax poetic about someone so fickle that they can tell someone that they love them and a few weeks later change their entire plans around just like that.  It’s not worth it and, ultimately, neither is she.  Still, there’s something very beautiful about settling into the soft soliloquies of sadness.  The focus not being the girl, or fairy tale plans aborted, but the emotional power that ultimately fuels us all.

I told only a handful of girls that I loved them during the past decade.  The only relationship of those that didn’t end in disaster is the one whose shirt pattern adorns the background of this blog’s header.  Sarah’s the only one whose breakup wasn’t because of lack of trust, other people, or the thousands of other things that leave people crippled and broken hearted.  Ours was simply circumstance – as she moved to Washington D.C. and out of my life.  Ironically, she lives 5 blocks south of me now.  What I learned from our recent retrospective talks is that relationships run their course.  It’s what you take away from them that matter.   Right now, I wonder what I’ll be taking away from this one…

So, single life in NYC will be interesting.  I mean – technically I was “single” which is the same designation that I have had for years.  Yet, this girl was ever-present.  My growing love for her was constant and, ultimately, got in the way of other relationship possibilities along the way.  So, now unencumbered except for a slightly sullen heart, I wonder what the world beyond has in store.  I’m a hopeless romantic with a hardened cynical streak.  I wonder which part will get reinforced during the next few months. Will I be bitter and not believe in true love anymore or will I be able to be Paul Varjack looking for his Holly Golightly?  And what if I can’t find Cat?  It’s raining…  These are the things that I am thinking about now.

Obviously – I’m close to the rambling stage now.  I’ve been up all night and I really don’t see much chance for sleep tonight.  Which is fine – I usually can run off endorphins for a day or two.  Tuesday or Wednesday might be tough.  I’m sure I’ll put together some more random musings over the next few day.  I find it apropos that the minute I decide I am going to be more authentic and real on this blog is the minute I have an emotional event in my life kick the writer in me into “confessional mode.”  I guess, ultimately, I took the expressway back to being a blogger.  A real one.  One of my favorite tweets ever was from my friend Erin.  She wrote, “I’m not a wuss.  I’m just sensitive.  I will kick your ass.  I will just cry doing it.”  I’m at the point where I don’t care if my emotional thoughts get published to the masses.  I am who I am and I’m comfortable with it.  These are just my thoughts.  Let me know your thoughts in the comments below…

Couch Surfing Kudos #1: Chris Morris

Right before he left to go to his band’s practice, he said “Just think – I was there when college first started, and now I’m here when you first start your New York job.” It’s crazy to think that we’ve known each other for over a decade and that, despite months and sometimes years without really talking to each other – I’m sitting on his couch, writing this blog post, and getting ready to see his new band, “The Kind” live in concert.

So, as I get settled here in New York, I just wanted to give a shout out to the first couch I’m crashing on: Chris Morris, you rock!

What’s Next for Me: Empire State of Mind

Last week, I announced on Twitter that I was leaving Crocs to pursue other opportunities.  Today, I’m proud to announce what my actual plans are.  I am leaving Boulder and the great state of Colorado to return back East to work for R/GA in New York City.  This was a move that happened quickly, but when the opportunity came to join a firm with the reputation and status of R/GA – I couldn’t pass it up.

My time at Crocs was an eventful one.  The last two and a half years of my life were perhaps the happiest I have ever had.  I enjoyed the sun and fresh air of Colorado.  I met some amazing friends.  And I was able to create something I am very proud of for a company that I will always hold dear to my heart.  I finally was able to work in Social Media and use my passion for this form of communication to build a true community around a very well known brand.  It was something that I received great kudos for – whether through official channels or pats on the back at conferences – and for that, I am forever indebted.  The opportunity I have at R/GA would probably not be here if it wasn’t for Crocs.

Photo by @greeblemonkey

Crocs, however, is bigger than I am and I leave behind a social media program that will be in very capable hands.  It’s bittersweet to have to walk away from something I built – knowing that I will no longer have a say in how things are handled – but I feel that the passionate consumer base that I helped organize will be there for whomever takes the reigns.  I’m excited to watch things from the sidelines, to simply be a member of the Crocs community, and to watch the brand, my colleagues and my friends grow.

The personal and professional pressures that I felt really made this decision an easy one.  I simply felt the tug of the city – watching the Yankees win the World Series, listening to Jay-Z and Alicia Keys belt out ballads to the boroughs – I couldn’t help but want to return back to the only place that felt right for me.  Professionally, I loved my time at Crocs but wanted new challenges – I wanted to apply my skill sets in new ways and R/GA provides a greater stage for me to shine.  Agency life will be vastly different.  It will test me in so many different ways.  Yet, in this crucible, I feel I will become a better professional.  I’m excited and I’m glad all of you will be around for the ride.

In the end, like with all social media, I couldn’t have done it without the crowd.  With out all of you out there who read my tweets, my blog posts, who followed my every move on the social web – thank you so much.  It was all of you that made the 12 hour days easy.  It was all the smiles we made together that made this job fun.  You were there for me through everything.  It was your enthusiasm to listen to me that made me who I am.  There is an African proverb that says that the path to greatness is paved by giving thanks to the great that came before you.  You, all those readers and people that follow me, are the greatness that has come before me.  Whether you’re a friend I made in Boulder, contacts I made through the industry, or random pixels of an avatar of someone I never met – I am truly thankful.  Leave a comment below so I know who is out there and who made this past two and a half years the greatest of my short lifetime.

NYC Day 5 – 9/15/08

There are lots of things that can be said about New York. Most are too cliche for me to really write down. However, while sitting in Bryant Park eating lunch before our flight took off, I picked up my camera again and asked Mira what she thought of NY.  It was a nice turnaround compared to those initial impressions.

NYC Day 4 – 9/14/08

When I woke up at Josh’s place, it was again around 8am. Slightly confused and not knowing where I was, I started to panic. Josh’s roommate came out and went to the bathroom. At that point, I still had no clue to where I was and decided it was best to leave this strange place. Only after seeing the immense movie collection did it register to where I was. Not wanting to wake Josh up, I told his roommate to tell Josh to call me and that I’d catch up with him later.

I walked backed to Connie’s place where all my stuff was. I showered, packed my stuff, said goodbye to Connie and co, and went into the Manhattan. I get out at Rockerfeller Center when I realize something: I have no place to go. Here I am in the city, with all my luggage and some of Mira’s, and I don’t have a place to crash for a few hours. Greg, our hospitable host for the first night, won’t be returning from a wedding in Hartford until the mid-afternoon. Max and his girlfriend were leaving for a vacation. John and Ashley, whom I wanted to meet up with, weren’t going to have a place for me to stash my stuff. I was officially the stranded person in the middle of the city, luggage in hand. I felt like such a cliche and remembered back to my first attempt to live in the city. I had a car back then, and I stashed it in free side street parking and used that as home base. I thought about going to the movies – just wasting time until I heard back from someone. Instead, I parked my ass down near Times Square and used the free CBS Internet connection and surfed the web and wrote.

Writing in NYC is something that hurts. It’s my muse but there are so many emotional connections that it brings up. There’s a sour taste in the words I write, and those demons that I haven’t quite conquered completely. As I sat in the city, writing new chapters to the same old stories, I decided that maybe soon it would be the time to share everything with someone. Just one person – so that these demons can finally be conquered.

Finally, my blackberry buzzed and I got a text from Greg. He was home and I could come crash at any moment. The intense NY heat finally started to get to me, and by the time I got to Greg’s I crashed in front of the television watching football. A normal Sunday, no matter where your longitude is.

Mira arrives from her Brooklyn rendezvous and we start to get ready for Chris’s party. Mira bought this dress in SoHo and she looked great. I was excited because I haven’t really had a chance to catch up with Chris for a long time. We arrive at Chris’s house – a small penthouse apartment on W 72nd and Broadway. We enter, drenched in a thin layer of sweat from the humid New York night, and start to party.

Overall, everything was great. I got to see Chris and Pete. Mira enjoyed hanging out there and disappeared for a few hours with Chris’s brother Jay. The view from the penthouse was amazing – seeing the NY skyline from inside of it. I had an amazing discussion with Chris’s drummer which will probably come up in some form or another in this blog. Overall, it was a typical party with Chris – but a little tamer. As we ate Gray’s Papaya at 5am in the morning, I couldn’t help but miss living in the city.

NYC Day 3 – 9/13/08

I ventured into the shower sometime around 8am. I’m not quite sure if I actually got any sleep. I was actually wide awake. After the shower, I got dressed and felt completely refreshed and ready for action. It wasn’t until around 11am, when we were sitting at Balu for brunch, that I realized I was probably still drunk. Bulu had the most amazing Eggs Bennie that I’ve had in a long time, and while it may be the drunk talking, I felt ready to tackle another day in the city. Mira and I said bye to Connie and Dave and ventured into the city.

We met up with Max and John, who were eating a BBQ lunch on the Upper West Side. Mira, constantly alerting us to her craving for New York City Cheesecake, ushered us on to our new mission. John and I spent the day choreographing meet ups with various friends in the city. Chris Morris, one of my good friends from college, got a hold of me while we were in the Museum of Natural History, and we made plans to meet up later in the weekend. We made it up to Artie’s Deli, where John met up with Ashley and I had my brief encounter with Justine. Mira finally got her cheesecake, and then I realized that I had to bring her to Brooklyn AND catch the 4 up to Yankee Stadium. At 4pm, I realized the rest of my day would be spent underground. Getting Mira to Brooklyn was simple, but the 4 train up to the stadium for the make up game due to the rain delay was hell. My train didn’t even have AC. I’m trying not to remember those details for now…

I arrive at the game sometime around the third inning. Josh Roberts, another friend from Syracuse, was there along with Max, John and Ashley. We watched the game and it was nice to see John really enjoy it. He cheered the loudest when Jeter hit a “classic Jeter” hit over the head of the second baseman. Jeter had a few hits in the game – and would eventually become the career hit leader at Yankee Stadium a few days later. As the close game progressed, we got to see Joba Chamberlain pitch and Mariano Rivera came out for the save. As this was the last game I’ll ever see – after countless ones before it – it was nice to see classic moments from Jeter, and a save by Mariano.

After the game, we headed down to the East Village where we bar hopped. I got in touch with Chris Morris where we met up with him for a bit. Chris and I made plans for Sunday night, and then our group ultimately went our separate ways. We bar hopped for a while, I got some Pizza, and we just spent the time having the normal idle chatter that John, Max, and I are famous for. All in all, it was a great night – that ended with me crashing at Josh’s house and staying up all night telling him about the various things going on in my life: the start up, girls, etc etc. Again, the sun was rising as I slowly laid my head down on the pillow for what I hoped would be some sleep…

NYC Day 2 – 9/12/08

Yankee Stadium, for me and many others, has a special place in my heart. In many ways, it’s what I assume love is like. In my travels, I’ve encountered other stadiums with a better form, with better function, but at the end of the day – I always come back to Yankee Stadium. It’s everything I ever wanted it to be.

Mother Nature was not our friend on Friday – as rain showered polluted the sky and kept us from watching the game. I feel for my contingent of friends from Syracuse, who made the trek down (some to see the Stadium for the first time), and were only able to sit in the bleachers for a few moments before the game was officially postponed. Still, sitting in the friendly confines of Ball Park Lanes, we were able to enjoy a few brews and catch up. Mother Nature can’t put a damper on good friendships – and this was a great night for that.

After the Syracuse contingent bid adieu, the rest of us decided to power down to Queens. Anthony, coming up clutch as always, was able to drive and thus allowed us to avoid annoying public transportation. In Astoria, we got some food at the Blackbird and stumbled our way to the Irish Rover. At the Rover, I ran into some friends from my days in Syracuse and caught up and toasted the night. Sometime around 4am, we went back to Connie’s. Connie and I opened a bottle of wine and finished it as the sun was starting to rise over the city that never sleeps. My second day back in the city was over and the next one was starting.

NYC Day 1 – 9/11/08

After arriving in NYC for the first time in over a year, I felt strangely at peace. In juxtaposition, my travel companion Mira was completely overwhelmed. Still, after squeezing into the Q33 and heading toward the subway – I was very excited for the weekend.

The weekend was a blur of memories. The first night was a simple night of catching up with some old friends, checking out Manhattan with some newbs, and attempting to synchronize your pulse to the heartbeat of the city. We walked around Times Square and The Rock, we went to the bar Social and Wags and Heather had Cosmo chugging contests. Overall, it was a fun night. Here are some pictures:

The night ended relatively early – as our host had to work the next day and most of us were tired from our travels. No one really cared, the weekend just started and we were excited for what was in store…