Here are some old images from my journaling days:

I have over 45 journals of my writings. They are hidden in boxes and will probably be discovered after I pass. I don’t know what’s in most of them. I do know I keep important things written down. I chronicle the things that matter to me. I’ve moved to the digital realm but I miss the feeling of really writing. It cleans out the soul. I need to get in the practice of it again.

I recently stumbled upon Weeplaces – a Foursquare visualization tool. It shows your entire timeline of places that you have checked in. Here’s a visualization of my travel throughout the US.

As you can see, my check ins are focused on the two places I have lived – Boulder, Co and New York, NY. I’ve traveled to Dallas, Chicago, Austin, Bentonville, and Upstate NY a bit as well. Pretty cool to see the distances traveled come and the random airports that I’ve passed through.

It’s even cooler when you go down to the closer views. Here’s my check in’s on Pearl Street in Boulder, Co:

It’s funny to see the places I went to the most. I’m definitely the kind of person that becomes a “regular” somewhere. All the bar hopping and check in’s in Boulder also makes me remember why I was a lot more broke back then.

Geolocation is big these days. And it can be useful. Last night, I needed to reach my girlfriend and she wasn’t answering her phone. She was staying in Atlanta, but I wasn’t sure where. Using Google Latitude, I was able to locate her. I could have also found her via Foursquare. I was able to call the hotel and get connected to her room. While it still didn’t help me in my endeavor, it at least proved effective in locating where she was staying.

All that’s missing is a little video from me doing the Just Dance Game and we’ll have ourselves a nice recap.

I’m sure that’s coming. I’m pretty sure I saw a few people with their cameras out for that….

1) I cried. Here. And if you didn’t laugh more than you cried, well – then you weren’t listening. While I work in the internet, I always believed that it’s powered at its root by community. That’s what BlogHer is. And that’s what this panel was about – communities coming together to help those that are in need. While I’ve avoided real tragedy in my life, the internet has helped me more than once in coming to terms with that empty feeling of loneliness that comes with the mean reds. Big round of applause goes to Cecily Kellogg, Loralee Choate, Kim Trimble, Anissa Mayhew, and Peter Mayhew – who became the first man to appear on a BlogHer panel. And while he, without a doubt, would prefer that the circumstances that caused him to be up there never happened – he is also the only person I could think of deserving to break the gender barrier there.

The grieving session also made me miss Erin Kotecki Vest. While she was having BlogHer at home, she was in many people’s thoughts. I heard her named mentioned a lot. BlogHer missed you this year. Get better fast.

2) I missed my Ohio girls. I don’t have favorites in the Blogosphere. I work with a lot of different people. But sometimes you just miss people when they aren’t there. I missed Jenny and Emily. Amy. Katie. Andrea. Erin. and Tara (although I did see Tara this year already!) I’m sure I’m missing a few others. With my girlfriend being from Ohio, I do have to say that I have a soft spot for the Mid-West and missed all those Ohio women too cool to stop by. At least I did get to see Tricia from OnceaMonthMom.com – which made my day. I did drag her into the booth to make a video though:

3) I have great friends. Seriously – great friends. I was hugged by so many of my friends that “live in my iPhone.” Friends that I see once a year – if I’m lucky. Lori Falcon sat around with me for 5 hours on Wednesday while I did work and worked on final details for BlogHer. Christine Young took me to the Russian Tea Room after winning a gift certificate. Audrey McClelland made sure I was the best boyfriend by letting my girlfriend visit her Getting Gorgeous event. I saw some of my favorite Colorado people in Aimee and Bryan and, briefly, Tara. I had a great discussion about blogging/brand practices with Jessica Randazza, Christopher Barger, Bonin Bough, and a room full of attentive bloggers thanks to Lucretia Pruitt and Jenn Fowler. I saw so many people that I’m going to stop naming names because it will never be complete enough. All I’m saying is that the great people that I know – the people that make me happy – all come to things like this. It makes me energized and I am already looking forward to next year.

4) It was under control. The complaints from last year should vanish. No more repeating stories of blackmail, over zealous bloggers and swag, and brands hating babies. It was, in the end, a great conference with very little controversy (unless I missed something). Like Sugar said, BlogHer has grown up. So has the community. It’s a wonderful thing to see – especially since it still hasn’t lost the fun and there are still McDonald’s bag hats and Unicorns and Sparkles.

5) I can’t dance. Not that I didn’t already know this. I did a preview for “Just Dance 2″ three times. My scores progressively got worse. It’s horrible. As the sun set, it didn’t get any better. I tried twirling Sarah Pinnix a few times but only ended up looking stupid in the process. I tried dancing with Leah Segadie too. Nope. Not cool. Note to self: Don’t try dancing with people that get compared to Lady GaGa by the Huffington Post. Just don’t….

One Post Isn’t Enough – I mean, c’mon, most of the pictures haven’t even been uploaded yet. I will definitely write more soon.

Fears and anxiety are a funny thing. When I graduated college, I was fearful that I could ever provide the fulfilling life that I felt my girlfriend wanted. I was fearful that I could ever be “good enough” for her – whatever the hell that means. I had all this fear and anxiety built up that I didn’t know what to do with it. When I drove her to her job interview at Tisch Hospital, I wandered around the blocks around 2nd ave and 31st street. I contemplated my future. I succumbed to my fears. We may have dated for a few more months, but that was the beginning of the end. It was the end because I started to doubt myself.

Not to say that present day me doesn’t doubt himself from time to time, but I finally have come to grips with who I am and what I’m capable of: which is to say a lot. I am dating the most wonderful woman I have ever met. Younger me would have been so fearful about Alana. He would have felt that she was too good for him. That she would never be happy. But those insecure feelings have been vanquished and, while I know that she is without a doubt my better-half, she is someone I consider a partner and love completely.

It’s funny how going back to this place that represents a period of time where I felt weak, can make me feel so strong these days. It puts into perspective the growth that I have had over the years. As I continue to grow, figuring out the various complexities of personal growth, professional growth, and spiritual growth – I wonder what place will represent my next challenge…

The Sunday evening special had this Boston boy succumbing to the allures of the East Village neighborhood that I call home. Time had changed both our appearances – gone was the flowing blonde Dawson Leary-esque hair of yesteryear – replaced by the shaved out of growing necessity head of our late 20′s. He’s put on a little weight. I’ve put on a bit more. He still loved Pearl Jam. I’ve moved on to the Dirty Projectors. He speaks in the tongues of bastardized 80′s slang and phrases on he can pull off. I speak a lot less than I used to. Still, the conversation flowed as seamlessly as they did back in the confines of AC13.

Tom is still with his college girlfriend – despite a bump in the road here or there. Stories of mine come up now and then but they are distant memories. I tell him about my latest heartbreak and classic misadventures. We share grass is greener moments and more drinks. It’s a classic night in the ways that have been escaping me more and more.

We shuffled through the streets onto Avenue A, and I was drunk and I was thinking – thinking about all those typical thoughts when you’re hanging out with someone you haven’t seen in years. With Tom, it’s been about four years. I saw him regularly when I first left school – making trips out to Boston. I even attempted to date a girl or two out in New England because I was heading out there so much. Looking back, it seems like so long ago. Especially the last few years – with old friends fading from my memory while Tom regales me with stories of weddings, break ups, and the various details of lives I find myself a stranger to. We laughed about the various things over a slice or two of Nino’s pizza, climbed the fences in Thompkins Square Park, and ran back to my apartment where we had left Elaine passed out.

I found myself sitting in my dark apartment alone last night. I was upset – not about anything in particular but just in general. The excitement of Elaine and Tom’s visit had disappeared. I was alone for the first time in a week. Probably even longer than that as the various entrappings of New York have entertained me. Someone mentioned that perhaps I was an addict to adrenaline and I can see that. The excitement of social situations empowers me. I am at my best when I am around others. Still, solitude can be comforting in it’s malaise. I took a recap of the events, saw my bed room in shambles from a week of sharing it with someone, and sighed. The sigh soon turned into tears. I didn’t really know why I was crying. I didn’t feel anything in particular – there was no sadness, nothing bitter hanging around. While I was lonely, it wasn’t the kind of lonely that brings on the tears. Still, there they were, streaming down my face, coming in uncontrollable waves. It lasted for what felt like an hour but probably was no more than 10 minutes. Then I felt relief. And calmness. I pulled out my book and started reading, aftershocks of tears coming here and there, but for the most part – I was done. It was just a release…

Pearl Jam’s song “Release” contains the lines: “Oh, dear dad, can you see me now / I am myself, like you somehow / I’ll ride the wave where it takes me / I’ll hold the pain…Release me…” This always makes me think of my father, his issues with mental illness, and its impact on me. My dad is bi-polar, among a myriad of other things. Moments like this – these high low moments that I have – I find myself wondering if I suffer from the same things. The pains of adolescence once had me in serious depressions. Even in college, I “felt” a lot more than other people. Somewhere along the way though, I feel I developed an emotional maturity. My life reached more of a balance. I feel far more normal now than ever. This crying jag that I had wasn’t about depression, chemical imbalances, or my father. It was merely a stress release – my body telling me, “Hey asshole, I think you need a break.”

It takes a lot to understand one’s personal emotions. It takes a clairvoyance that can not be seen in tarot cards, or the palms of your hands. I think I developed my self-confidence by really understanding my emotions. The ebb and flow of my oceans of blood and hormones have been regulated, and I feel at peace. A lot more in control. But sometimes, true control is realizing when you need to let it all go. When you need that release….

The Roger Smith Hotel is pulling it off.  On Twitter the other day, I called Brian Simpson of the Roger Smith the David Van Ronk of the New York Social Media scene.  Van Ronk was dubbed the “Mayor of MacDougal street” and while “mayor” might have a different connotation in the social media world thanks to Foursquare, Brian has served many as a conventional one might.  Brian has helped cultivate the Roger Smith to be the Social Media haven.  The other night it culminated in having over 50+ people at the Roger Smith checking in on Foursquare.  Brian was there, somewhat in the shadows, watching as multiple events that centered around Social Media took place.  DigitalSomethings was upstairs.  A Tweetup downstairs.  Watching them mix and marry into an amorphous cloud of people, you can’t help but feel like something special is in the works.

Now, I’m new to town.  I haven’t known the regulars in the Social Media scene here for that much time.  I just know that the Roger Smith has a reputation from those in town, and a mythos to those out of town.  It probably feels like what places like the Gaslight, Gerde’s, Cafe Wha? and the Folklore Center must have felt like to the folk crowd.  As social media, mobile, and location based technology becomes motivation for offline events, what other venues and hubs will develop?  The Roger Smith is one of the first ones that I discovered.  I don’t need to keep track of check ins to see who is the “Mayor” of that place – and maybe even of this New York scene in general….

Pictured: In sub-zero temperatures Japanese Macaque monkeys soak in the warmth of a mountain hotsprings at Jigokudani (Hell’s Valley) in Nagano Province of central Japan

I seriously hate the cold.  There’s something about being cold that puts me into hibernation.  With the first Winter chill taking over the northeast, I’m finally coming to terms that I’m moving to a place in the country that isn’t exactly known for it’s weather.  Boulder – even though it’s currently in a deep freeze of its own – is definitely an upgrade in the warmth department.

My top ten things to do in the Winter when I’m freezing, in no particular order:

• Lay under multiple comforters watching movies
• listening to music
• reading a book
• drinking hot cocoa
• drinking scotch/whiskey or other hard liquor
• writing
• napping with someone
• turning the heat really high and opening a window
• hot showers
• running

Today, I pretty much did all these activities except for running.  So, it was a good day.  I might not be as relaxed as the monkeys above, but I also can’t complain.