But she breaks just like a little girl…..

Nobody feels any pain
Tonight as I stand inside the rain
Ev’rybody knows
That Baby’s got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl

Queen Mary, she’s my friend
Yes, I believe I’ll go see her again
Nobody has to guess
That Baby can’t be blessed
Till she sees finally that she’s like all the rest
With her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl

It was raining from the first
And I was dying there of thirst
So I came in here
And your long-time curse hurts
But what’s worse
Is this pain in here
I can’t stay in here
Ain’t it clear that—

I just can’t fit
Yes, I believe it’s time for us to quit
When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don’t let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl

Goodbye….

This blog was created by me back before he ever thought that he would make any money from the internet. Since the first post (which has long since been hidden), this blog represented who “George” was as a person, his many interests, and his growing career. Change – however – is inevitable. This blog has wrestled with that change over the last few years. Only recently, has it became obvious that I have outgrown it. I still love it in so many ways, I keep telling myself that I will return to it. And perhaps I will. But my creative energies have somewhat shifted. The long form, often emotional narratives are few and far between. They lived concealed in their analog siblings or possibly lay unwritten in the crevices of my imagination. I just can’t simply write them anymore. And so, with that, my artistic expression has shifted toward simpler devices – a Tumblr blog where I spend more time reacting rather than creating – or, twitter, where I capture my daily thoughts and conversations with friends and acquaintances alike.

I want to keep this site alive – which is something I have never done with blogs before. The delete key has erased from the web so many of my thoughts, writings, poetry, emotions, stories, and I couldn’t do that to this blog. It meant to much. Everything I ever did on the web lead me here, and now I want to leave it – both as a memory of who I was, and for the possibility that I will return to it. Please – if you’re so inclined – continue to follow me on the sites listed below. If not, I understand. Thank you for reading….

Tumblr: http://www.georgegsmithjr.com
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George G Smith Jr
8/7/2011
George G Smith Jr
8/7/2011

Life; a capella

Today, I listened to Psychocandy for the first time in years. There was a period in my life – far to late to claim any “cool kid” cred – where I listened to The Jesus & Mary Chain, for lack of a better term, religiously. I have a thing for noisey, distortion filled rock and roll – especially when coupled with a depressed heroin chic aesthetic. Still, this album came on randomly and it brought me back.

One of the toughest things about “growing up” is how music doesn’t have that same emotional stickiness. Perhaps it’s emotional maturity. Perhaps it’s the numbness of experience. Whatever the reason, this brief sojourn to when music mattered to me was refreshing. I’ve listened to this album 4 times today. (More like 3 times – I definitely fell asleep during one of the rotations).

For so long, I wanted to live my life like a Cameron Crowe movie – where the song fits the moment like no other one could. Whether it’s an empty Times Square and Radiohead or a Tiny Dancer singalong to bring people together – I strove to soundtrack my life. My emotional timbre was retrofitted into Bob Dylan songs; my aspirations rang like Misty Mountain Hop. My love life could be summed up in the strumming of a Lindsay Buckingham guitar or the soft whine of a Ryan Adams ballad. It’s not that my love for music has left me, but it’s almost as if the connection has. The rapport is hollower. The feelings just aren’t there anymore. I find myself listening to old songs to remember old feelings. I am feeling things in my life deeper than I have ever felt before – there just no longer is a soundtrack.

It’s life; a capella.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Obviously, you can see a sadness in this post, but I don’t want to over dramatize it. I am much happier now than before. I no longer over-analyze and offer myself fake ties to songs written lifetimes before I was born. Instead, I enjoy what’s going on. I know, as I venture into new territories of emotion, I will find songs that fit my emotional state. Music has a funny way of doing that. But for now, music will just be what’s going on in the background. It will just be a series of notes played for enjoyment, not for context. Sometimes you need to hear something a capella to truly appreciate it.

Who Gives a Fuck About an Oxford Comma?

I’ve been listening to a lot of Vampire Weekend lately. I don’t know, but maybe the Prep Rock just fits my idea of summer – days on Cape Cod, popped collar polos, bleeding madras sports coats. My trip to the Hamptons coincided with this re-discovery, so it was nice to get that WASP-Y prep rock blasting through my ears.

I love highly literate music. When Jeff Tweedy quotes Henry Miller during “Ashes of American Flags” from Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, I fell in love with Wilco. The double and triple meanings of the poetry in hip hop music has always made it something I’ve loved. Vampire Weekend’s “Oxford Comma” always makes me laugh because of this.

The song’s chorus asks, “Why would you lie about how much coal you have?”

Well, lying about how much coal you have can easily be done through the omission of an oxford comma.

An oxford comma is the comma right before the ‘and’ in a series.

I have 100 pounds of iron, 50 pounds of steel, and coal.
I have 100 pounds of iron, 50 pounds of steel and coal.

See the difference?  The “optional” comma allows for misinterpretation of what the writer is saying.   “But why would you lie about how much coal you have? Why would you lie about something dumb like that?”

Okay, I’m a bit of a nerd because of this, but I can’t help it.

Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright

Well, it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don’t know by now
An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It’ll never do, somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

And it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
But I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
But don’t think twice, it’s all right….

I don’t know which came first.  My love for Bob Dylan or the cynicism.  Rob Gordon asks the question but the answer is never provided.  Still, I find such beautiful, cynical music to be so compelling.  I’ve been in a Dylan mood for the past few weeks and I don’t foresee it going away.

I’m writing a book.  It’s a love story of sorts and it’s a bit of a departure from my previous writings.  Stylistically, it will probably be the same because that’s just the way I write.  But from a plot perspective, I am starting to carve out a distinct plot where my previous writings were mostly just ramblings that I would edit down.

Remembering Mix Tapes from V’Days Passed.

My friend Emily recently posted a mix-tape from her youth – a mix tape filled with all those naive and cheesy songs from our youth.  Even though we never knew each other, gazing at the tape made me see an inter-connectedness of our pasts – the generational wink and nods that occur through Top-40 songs, mainstream television, and everything in between.

Songs and love are something that I talk about a lot – often together.  Looking back on my eclectic music collection, I see many of the similar songs that I once used as inspiration in my more naive and blissful days.  I can’t replicate all those mix tapes from back in the day – made with Skeff, in college, and many times after – but I can write about a few of my songs that might be a bit off the radar from the conventional mix-tape.

Lover Lay Down – Dave Matthews Band

It’s hard to say that this song was under the radar, but it definitely wasn’t one of Dave’s top hits, coming on his breakout release “Under the Table and Dreaming.” For anyone growing up in the 1990′s, Dave Matthews represents the sweet saccharine songs that wowed girls and either inspired boys and made them run for the hills. I was inspired – the hopeless romantic long before I really knew what that was all about. Listening to this song for the first time in a long time (a decade, perhaps?), I can’t help but enjoy it’s simple beauty. My tastes in music may have evolved past Dave Matthews by the turn of the century, but he still knows how to write a good love song….

Forever – Ben Harper

Maybe the cynical streak is something I was born with – or at least, embedded with due to parental divorce and a uncomfortable adolescence. Either way, this song made it’s way onto so many mix tapes that I almost think it was a single – even though it definitely wasn’t. Ben would actually make many appearances on these sort of mix tapes – with songs like “Steal my Kisses” off of “Burn to Shine” being the most memorable.

Can’t Hardly Wait – The Replacement

This was always a classic staple on a mix tape – even though I’m a much bigger ‘Mats fan today than I ever was back then. It’s a classic. Not much to really write about it….

Luna – The Smashing Pumpkins

The Smashing Pumpkins were the hot band in High School. One of my favorite albums growing up was Siamese Dream. While most girls got into them during the Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness string of hits, I loved them earlier. This song was my way of being “cool” – putting a sweet song from a band that they already loved. It’s a classic mix tape move – one that I probably would still do, even if the song selection has improved.

Lullaby (Goodnight my Angel) – Billy Joel

Sure – the song is written about his daughter. My younger self even knew that. Still, I figured most girls wouldn’t and I kept this song to be one of the key closers on any good romantic mix tape. I’m not a big Billy Joel fan, but he still writes beautiful music that appeals to the masses. In other words, the perfect closer to a mix tape…

Of course, making a mix tape is a lot more than picking a few songs and putting them together. It’s about flow and balance and all those stuff that I’ve written about a million times. I just wanted to relive some of the thoughts I used to have around making tapes. Now, with my love life a lot more complicated and unpredictable, sometimes being able to just make a tape is exactly where I need to be…..

Retrospection – Part Two

Once upon a time, almost ten years ago, I rang in the new millenium from Times Square. It’s funny to think that, by flashing forward 10 years, I’ll basically will have only moved cross town. Of course, the journey to get here – that cross town traffic, if you will – has combined for an amazing series of events that I can’t help but want to be introspective about. With me, introspection always is accompanied by music. After all, I wrote in a lonely, long lost blog on December 25th, 1999 – “They say the sense of smell is the most nostalgic. “They” never had my music collection.”

I know, I know – that’s a bit cheesy but it’s apropos to what I have always attempted to convey with my personal blog writing. Whether it was old journal entries with song quotes as a forward, my Wurtzelian style was predicated on the fact that, while I may have a certain strength as a wordsmith, I am only offering a glacial tip to the emotive mass that lay behind those keystrokes. For those of you who have been reading me for the past ten years, for those of you who have conversed with me about personal things, for those of you who have actually helped me through it all – you know what I’m talking about.

Carlos Santana once said that Music is all around us, and the musicians were just translators. What about those of us who fail to create music? I feel immersed in the language and, while I am not conversational, perhaps I find a deeper meaning being lost in translation?

My taste for music has definitely changed over the past decade. In 2000, I was enjoying the musical meanderings of Phish, the rebellious positivity of Blackstar, the organic hip hop of The Roots. My love for Hip Hop would swell and grow while I cast aside the Jam Band love that I had. I soon discovered real roots in the americana sound of Alt-Country – with the Tweedy lilt leading the way via Uncle Tupelo, Wilco, and the various bands he’s worked in. Indie Rock shortly morphed from there to where I basically stand today. I carry all of these timbres within me – I still listen to many of the albums that I loved during each year of my life. I think that’s a good metaphor for life. You carry with you the things from you past. You may change your perspective on how you view them, but ultimately they morph into a part of you. Here is my “off-the-top-of-my-head” list of albums for each year of the past decade:

2000: D’angelo – Voodoo
2001: The Strokes – Is this it?
2002: Wilco – Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
2003: The Postal Service – Give Up
2004: Arcade Fire – Funeral
2005: Sufjan Stevens – Illinois
2006: Girl Talk – Night Ripper
2007: Radiohead – In Rainbows
2008: She & Him – Volume One
2009: Dirty Projectors – Bitte Orca

Are these the best albums of the decade? No – many of them don’t even represent the best albums of the year for their respective years. But they are a glimpse into my head, into my heart, to a place where music has a personal connection to certain parts of my life. Each of these albums I still listen to very frequently. They are part of my collective subconscious because I have listened to them so many times. Other albums from the past decade have joined their ranks. The catalog runs deep and, one day, when I have a lot more time to write and contemplate, perhaps I will share my breakdown of music by the year. If you want to get to know me a bit more, get to know these albums. You won’t be disappointed.

Philadelphia

16, Maybe Less

The hopeless romantic in me melts with this song.  I don’t know what it is: the story of longing for a lover from the past.  The pangs of growing older.  Whatever it is – it’s simply beautiful and makes me wish for the days when I used to feel the same rush over someone.

Music of My Mind #5: Karen O and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

What is beauty? This is something that I have been thinking about lately. Where I find the most beauty is in music. To express one’s self in music is, for me, the pinnacle of art. One of my favorite bands, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, capture so much emotion and primal energy and come up with beautiful music. It’s not conventional beauty – just like it’s front woman Karen o – but it’s something I can’t help but be attracted to. Especially Karen O – who radiates the sexuality and power that is at the core of The Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ music.

There is a chaos to it and the primal screams of Karen O are poetic in their sexuality and power. The timbre of Nick Zinner’s guitar and pounding rhythm of Brian Chase captures an energy of New York. While I haven’t fully digested the dance beats of the new album, their older material is considerably interwoven into my life. I’m looking forward to hearing the new album and seeing what place it takes in the canon of my life.