I’ve been listening to a lot of Vampire Weekend lately. I don’t know, but maybe the Prep Rock just fits my idea of summer – days on Cape Cod, popped collar polos, bleeding madras sports coats. My trip to the Hamptons coincided with this re-discovery, so it was nice to get that WASP-Y prep rock blasting through my ears.

I love highly literate music. When Jeff Tweedy quotes Henry Miller during “Ashes of American Flags” from Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, I fell in love with Wilco. The double and triple meanings of the poetry in hip hop music has always made it something I’ve loved. Vampire Weekend’s “Oxford Comma” always makes me laugh because of this.

The song’s chorus asks, “Why would you lie about how much coal you have?”

Well, lying about how much coal you have can easily be done through the omission of an oxford comma.

An oxford comma is the comma right before the ‘and’ in a series.

I have 100 pounds of iron, 50 pounds of steel, and coal.
I have 100 pounds of iron, 50 pounds of steel and coal.

See the difference?  The “optional” comma allows for misinterpretation of what the writer is saying.   “But why would you lie about how much coal you have? Why would you lie about something dumb like that?”

Okay, I’m a bit of a nerd because of this, but I can’t help it.

Fears and anxiety are a funny thing. When I graduated college, I was fearful that I could ever provide the fulfilling life that I felt my girlfriend wanted. I was fearful that I could ever be “good enough” for her – whatever the hell that means. I had all this fear and anxiety built up that I didn’t know what to do with it. When I drove her to her job interview at Tisch Hospital, I wandered around the blocks around 2nd ave and 31st street. I contemplated my future. I succumbed to my fears. We may have dated for a few more months, but that was the beginning of the end. It was the end because I started to doubt myself.

Not to say that present day me doesn’t doubt himself from time to time, but I finally have come to grips with who I am and what I’m capable of: which is to say a lot. I am dating the most wonderful woman I have ever met. Younger me would have been so fearful about Alana. He would have felt that she was too good for him. That she would never be happy. But those insecure feelings have been vanquished and, while I know that she is without a doubt my better-half, she is someone I consider a partner and love completely.

It’s funny how going back to this place that represents a period of time where I felt weak, can make me feel so strong these days. It puts into perspective the growth that I have had over the years. As I continue to grow, figuring out the various complexities of personal growth, professional growth, and spiritual growth – I wonder what place will represent my next challenge…

Spent this Saturday in the Hamptons with some of my favorite New York people: Julia Roy, Clay Hebert, Jessica Randazza, and Brian Simpson. And of course, my beautiful girlfriend Alana Edmunds.

The day was amazing. Thanks to Swagg and Sarah Evans. I’ll hopefully be writing a bit more about this, but I wanted to make sure I captured the moment quickly and offer my thanks.

Why doesn’t this ever happen on my train!

Dress Shirts

I’m wearing a lot more dress shirts these days.  While I’ll go for the unkempt, untucked look for some of the shirts with shorter tails (and thus, meant to be worn untucked), I am learning that tucking in my shirt is helping to slim down some of the lines and make me look a bit taller – and thus, skinnier.

Wearing a belt
Paired with the fact that I’m tucking in my shirt more, I am wearing a belt more as well.  This helps give another appearance of being slimmer because, when worn right, nudges your body and creates a line of demarcation that smooths out your torso.  Since I’m not truly “fat,” these subtle aesthetic choices helps give off a better appearance.

Wearing V Necks

I’m not talking gross, Jersey Shore V Necks with chest hair poofing out – but a good V neck actually makes your neck seem slimmer.  With good posture (something I’m working on), you appear more elongated which slims out the body as well.

These tricks – and a few others – have helped me broaden my wardrobe.  Since I’m a “layer” kind of guy, it helps having these visual tricks that allow me to wear the right clothing without adding bulk to my body.  As I work on slimming down, these tricks will help me give off that appearance and look good while I’m getting in shape.

I sit at Gate C5 in the American Terminal at Laguardia airport heading down to a busy but eventful weekend in Arkansas.  When I get back, Internet Week will start in New York.  Life is kind of crazy – in some good and some bad ways.  I’ve been thinking about taking a vacation.  I’m not sure where.  Someplace relaxing.  Someplace adventurous.  Sarah is going to India.  I have friends going to Costa Rica.  I want to return to Paris.  By the end of the summer, I will plan a trip for me to take – a time when I can sit in an airport waiting area with a fun trip on the horizon.

And it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
But I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
But don’t think twice, it’s all right….

I don’t know which came first.  My love for Bob Dylan or the cynicism.  Rob Gordon asks the question but the answer is never provided.  Still, I find such beautiful, cynical music to be so compelling.  I’ve been in a Dylan mood for the past few weeks and I don’t foresee it going away.

I’m writing a book.  It’s a love story of sorts and it’s a bit of a departure from my previous writings.  Stylistically, it will probably be the same because that’s just the way I write.  But from a plot perspective, I am starting to carve out a distinct plot where my previous writings were mostly just ramblings that I would edit down.

I’m currently reading Suze Rotolo’s Freewheelin Time on my Barnes and Noble Kindle.

It’s not that good of a book – it flutters in and out from the parts we want to read (re: Dylan, Greenwich Village, etc al) to parts about her family and what not. Still, it brings me into a world that I’ve always romanticized. Now that I live not to far from the Village, I pass by places like Cafe Wha, the Gaslight, I realize that I probably won’t ever really get to have those kind of times.

I’ve been writing a lot lately. I haven’t been sharing it with the world but I think I’m going to start focusing on it more. Perhaps someone will take interest and want to read it. Maybe I’ll have some cafe days where I can talk the night away with good friends and better wine. Maybe I’ll stay up all night in the Chelsea Hotel writing Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands. Maybe I’ll just daydream all these things and be stuck, wasting away my creative years, on things that I don’t make me happy…

Why CarMD?

Well – apparently they are running a giveaway. If you “Like” their Facebook page – they will give you an iPad. Even better – they will give an iPad to the person that referred you.

So why was my personal stream overrun with this?

Because my two friends Lori Falcon and Trisha Haas basically referred the last 300 people to the site – with more on the way.

It’s actually kind of funny to see the page. I kept hitting “more” and kept seeing more referrals. The page has become the Lori and Trisha show. If you click on the page, “Like” them and become a fan. Don’t tell them I sent you though – you might as well say Lori or Trisha did.

Last night, I was discussing with Sarah about age and mindsets. Sarah is turning 25 on Thursday. She said she realizes that age doesn’t mean anything and with that, we started to discuss age v. experience, conversations with our “past self” and growing older. This blog is sometimes nice to use as a reference, to have conversations with my “past self.” For instance, slightly over a year ago on May 12, 2009, I wrote about my future wife, a friend of mine who I wasn’t dating. A year later, I am dating Alana and the idea that that post could be prophetic excites me. Then, when you examine the very next post about clearing clutter from my life, I realize I did NONE of those things – my DVD collection actually making the voyage out to New York City.

As I plan my future, I realize that none of it can be predicated. Even when things turn out to be prophetic, it’s more a mixture of luck and circumstance than actual foresight. I know that a year from now, I will probably not be in the same spot as I am today. Even if I happen to be sitting in the same corner table, in the back of The Bean Coffee shop in the East Village, I won’t be in the same spot. A year older. A year more experienced. I’ll look back on this blog post and probably laugh and how incorrect I really am….