I was sitting with Sarah at a nice wine bar called 10 Degrees on St. Mark’s between Ave A and 1st, when she shared the story of Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez.   The story, in its basic form, goes like this:  When Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez landed in Mexico, one of his first orders to his men was to burn the ships. Cortez was committed to his mission and did not want to allow himself or his men the option of going back to Spain. By removing this option, Cortez and his men were forced to focus on how they could make the mission successful.

After sharing the story, Sarah looked at me and asked, “What would you burn the ships for?”   I paused.  It’s a very profound question.  I think there’s a definite part of me that would “burn the ships” for love.  In my younger days, I was probably more of a serial arsonist when it came to that subject.  As I’ve grown older and become more enamored with the world in general rather than people in specific, the things I would “burn the ships for” have become more and more rare.

We discussed the topic more and more in depth.  It was a great conversation – complete with some good Sangria, the right soundtrack in the background, and enough smiles and laughter that made the depth of conversation still feel light and airy.  We came to one conclusion:  You can only “Burn the Ships” about one thing.  That seems relatively obvious but it’s also somewhat a scary concept.  After all, if you are willing to “burn the ships” for a passion – like your career, a charity (like the charity Sarah works for: Starting Bloc), then are you giving up on love?

I told her the story of people like Sloan and Amy from ReasontoWander.com.  They “burned the ships” and went around the world together – succumbing to their wanderlust together.  Isn’t that proof that you can do it?  Ultimately, there’s passion and there’s ship burning.  You can be passionate about many things – I am passionate about writing, building community, marketing, the internet – but none of those things necessarily have me carrying a container of kerosene and matches.  So can you burn the ships for one thing but still have a passion for another?  I’m not sure – I have never burned the ships for anything….

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Earlier in the evening, Sarah shared a story about how her friends Jeff and Russ started to have an argument about what happiness is.  She then stopped and asked me what I thought it was.  I paused, contemplating how to answer it.  The only thing that popped into my head was one word:  “fleeting.”  This isn’t some pejorative because I’m melancholy due to my lack of luck with les amours.  Instead, it’s a realistic view on life that conjures up the promise of a life worth living.  You see, I think humans are naturally drawn to a stagnant form of contentment – the kind of life where you go through activities because you have to, not because you want to.  Routines, structure – all those things that are integral to survival, yet aren’t anything to get “excited” for.  If you think about it, the people that you think are the happiest in your life are generally people who still get excited for the things that are normally in their routine.

So, as we get older and newer experiences become fewer and far between, finding excitement in the everyday becomes harder.  It also becomes harder to get out of that mindset – harder to give up the comforts of this contentment.  Ultimately, there needs to be some sort of inertia to get people back to seeking that excitement.   It can come in many forms – some healthy, some not so much – but learning to create your own inertia is something that I think is important.  So, when I say that happiness is “fleeting,” it’s not to say that you can’t have it but that you have to continue to chase it.  You can never stop and become stagnant.  I know this view won’t be popular with everyone.  I know many people will disagree.  But, since I adopted this philosophy a few years ago, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been.

So – I’ve spent time thinking about what Sarah said.  I’d love to know what your thoughts are on these subjects.  Comment below, write your own blog post, or whatever it is that makes you happy….