( I got to meet Jenny, The Bloggess. Not only that, I’m pretty sure she actually will remember my name – which is a complete rush to me because, I am totally in love with her. Not in a sexual way – although she’s a beautiful woman – but in a “OMG, she makes me pee my pants sort of way.” Which might be sexual in an R. Kelly sort of way…Anyway, this post is dedicated to her. )

Nancy W. Kappes told me that I have a nice ass.  She then spent the next half hour grabbing it.  I think at one point she dug her nails into it, which may or may not have been a turn on.  She asked about the size of my genitalia and then started telling me stories that made me feel uncomfortable – which says a lot since I don’t normally get uncomfortable and actually like it when women grab my ass.  It also has been a while since a woman actually even THOUGHT of my genitalia, let alone inferred positive comments about it.  And, even if she was twice my age and possibly clinically insane,  it made me feel loved.  And during the bouts of uncomfortableness and feelings of love, I realized I missed my blog.

As I spent much of the past weekend working BlogHer as the representative of my brand, I had some great conversations with bloggers that I absolutely have been in love with forever.  Bloggers that I would be reading regardless of whether I got paid to do it or not.  People like The Bloggess, without whom I may have not been molested by the older, but far more frisky than 99% of the population, paralegal.  One that might be quite insane.  Seriously – Nancy W. Kappes is real.  The kind of real that makes you think, “man, hanging out with her is crazy – I wish I could write about this in my blog.”

Which is why I realized I missed it.  Why can’t I write about Nancy W. Kappes on my personal blog?  Will a true story about a woman who may or may not have been abusing prescription medicine really bad for business?  It’s not like I’m doing anything.  It’s just Nancy – who said “fuck” more times than Samuel L. Jackson in his entire movie catalogue in about 25 minutes.  Nancy who had like 25 pill cases in her purse that she claims were hair rollers but I couldn’t help but imagine the prescription drug cocktail that she made in order to induce such hectic behavior.  Nancy, who made me realize how normal a life I live that, even if I commented or wrote about every inane detail – I would ultimately prove to be much saner and seemingly happier than the Nancy W. Kappes of the world.

So, my blog will be reborn with a bit more personal stories in it.  After all, when I reminice over sharing the hilarious outtakes from my dating life, my work life, my home life, and everything in betweet – I realize that is why I loved being on the internet and being a part of a community – which is why I ended up getting paid to do this every day anyway.  I’m bringing back the love – thanks to some ass smacks by Nancy W. Kappes, Paralegal…